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Writer's pictureMary Murphy

The Day We Lost Joey D.


FDNY Lt. Joseph P. DiBernardo of Rescue 3 in the Bronx.

FDNY Lt. Joseph P. DiBernardo of Rescue 3 in the Bronx.


On November 22, 2011, my son Anthony and I were eating the irresistible brown bread at Applebee's in Bayside, New York, the butter instantly melting when we spread it across the warm loaf.  It was a Tuesday.  We had just ordered our meal, when my cell phone rang.  The caller was Barbara DiBernardo.

 

"I have some bad news," she began.

 

November 22 is often associated with the 1963 assassination of President John F. Kennedy, as he rode in a motorcade in Dallas, Texas.   But the date had now become personally tragic for Mrs. DiBernardo and her family.  Her firstborn child and only son, retired FDNY Lieutenant Joseph DiBernardo, was found dead at home in Miller Place, Long Island.  Pretty much everyone knew him as Joey D.  Joey's beloved dog Rescue was resting on top of his body, a symbol of the protective bond that existed between the canine and his human friend.

 

"40 years old," Joey's bereaved father, Joe, would later say. "He should be with us. He shouldn't be dead.  And he's dead because of that fire."


Joe DiBernardo was referring to a headline-making fire event in the Bronx from nearly seven years before.

 

A retired FDNY Deputy Chief, Joe DiBernardo led the charge to get his son's passing designated a 'line of duty' death, which would result in Joey's name being placed on the FDNY Wall of Honor.  Chief DiBernardo needed to document that his son's cause of death, listed as accidental overdose from painkillers and antidepressants, was directly tied to the Black Sunday fire of January 23, 2005.  Joey had lived the ensuing years with intense physical and emotional pain, after what happened that winter morning.  

 

"Brothers on the roof, you're going to need to send a rope over the side!"


Facebook Watch featured PIX11 reports from Mary Murphy after Joey D. died.

 

The urgent words were yelled by Joey DiBernardo of Rescue 3 into an FDNY radio from inside a blazing, 4th floor apartment, during a blizzard that hampered FDNY response, The fire hydrants were frozen outside 234 E. 178th Street in the Bronx, and some water hoses were broken.  But one of the biggest dangers six firefighters faced in the top floor apartment were illegal room partitions that blocked the fire escapes, as the flames came roaring at them like a locomotive. 

 

"You either stayed in the apartment and died, burned to death, or you had to go," Joey D. told me from his hospital bed in the spring of 2005, not long after he'd emerged from an 18 day coma.  Nearly every bone below Joey's waist had been shattered, when he made the choice to jump from the 4th floor with five other FDNY brothers.  

Two of them, Lt. Curtis Meyran and Lt. John Bellew, died when they hit the concrete yard behind the building.  Firefighters Jeff Cool, Eugene Stolowski, and Brendan Cawley were badly injured, along with Joey D.


FDNY Lt. Joseph P. DiBernardo on the job.

FDNY Lt. Joseph P. DiBernardo on the job.


Joey D. received special attention because of a selfless act he made, right before he jumped 50 feet to the ground.  Looking to the right, he saw Rescue 3 colleague, Jeff Cool, at the next window.  Jeff was the only man among the six firefighters who was carrying a personal safety rope that he had purchased himself.

 

"And Joey's like 'Throw me the rope, throw me the rope,'" Jeff later recalled, "'and I'll anchor you.'"

 

Joey D. wrapped the rope around his forearm and held on, as Jeff slid down about ten feet, before the rope broke.

 

"The first thing I thought of: that Jeff was married, Jeff has two, lovely boys," Joey D. said in 2005 in his interview with PIX11 News, "and here I am, a single guy. Let me help Jeff."

 

Jeff Cool always said that Joey's assistance gave him the opportunity to watch his young sons grow up.

 

"Joey put my life before his own," Jeff emotionally said the day after Joey D's death, "and you know, that's the true meaning of brotherhood.  He's my brother."


Retired FDNY firefighter Jeff Cool with his wife and grown sons. In 2005, Cool was assisted by Joey D.

Retired FDNY firefighter Jeff Cool with his wife and grown sons. In 2005, Cool was assisted by Joey D.

 

Chief DiBernardo was successful in his bid to have his son's sacrifice designated a "line of duty" death and, one year after Joey D's passing, his plaque was installed in a place of honor at Rescue 3's headquarters on Washington Avenue in the Bronx.

 

"He put out his first fire at the age of 10," Chief DiBernardo said during the ceremony. "A rubbish fire on Delancey Street.  He was so happy and thrilled."

 

Then-Fire Commissioner Salvatore Cassano also spoke, acknowledging the father's efforts to honor his son for what happened at the Black Sunday fire.

 

"Joe, when you sent me that documentation, it became clear and indisputable that he, in fact, died from his body being broken that day," Commissioner Cassano said. "Joey earned this hallowed honor."

 

Chief DiBernardo and his son had worked "side by side" on the pile at Ground Zero in September 2001, shortly after the 9/11 terror attacks toppled the Twin Towers in downtown Manhattan.  343 FDNY personnel perished in the collapse.

 

In the years after the Black Sunday fire, two tenants accused of installing illegal partitions in their apartment to collect rent money were acquitted on homicide charges.  And one year after the building's landlord and a former owner were convicted on similar charges, a judge overturned the decision.  


Illegal partitions in 4th floor Bronx apartment blocked fire escapes on January 23, 2005.

Illegal partitions in 4th floor Bronx apartment blocked fire escapes on January 23, 2005.

 

The city of New York was found liable in a civil lawsuit for not providing personal safety ropes, with Black Sunday victims and surviving families splitting a multimillion dollar settlement.

 

Retired Chief DiBernardo had already started the Lieutenant Joseph P. DiBernardo Memorial Foundation in his son's name.  His goal was to raise funds for training fire departments around the country and to equip them with personal safety ropes.  The foundation's reach extends to Canada and annual seminars are held.  When the tenth anniversary of Lt. DiBernardo's foundation was marked, more than ten million dollars had been given away to departments in need.


On this November 22, Barbara DiBernardo posted loving remarks on Facebook, as she always does on the date her son died.  "You are missed so much," Joey's mother wrote.  "On the upside, I feel you with me always."


Mural with Joey D. Photos on his mother’s Facebook page.

Mural with Joey D. Photos on his mother’s Facebook page.

 


Joey's parents also refurbished a restaurant in South Beach, Long Island--not far from where Joey once lived--called Firehouse.  The place is filled with memories of their son.


Retired FDNY Deputy Chief Joe DiBernardo outside Firehouse restaurant in Sound Beach, L.I.

Retired FDNY Deputy Chief Joe DiBernardo outside Firehouse restaurant in Sound Beach, L.I.

 

And perhaps the best way to remember Joey D. on this November 22 is to recall the words of his Rescue 3 brother, Jeff Cool, shortly after Joey died.

 

"He retired from the job but he never left the job," Jeff said.  "That job was everything to Joey.  That was his life!  That was his heart and soul.  It didn't matter what color of skin you had or what sex you were.  He was crawling down that hallway and making that last push."


Joey DiBernardo of Rescue 3 performs life-saving procedure on child at Bronx fire.

Joey DiBernardo of Rescue 3 performs life-saving procedure on child at Bronx fire.



To learn more about the Lieutenant Joseph P. DiBernardo Memorial Foundation, please visit: Lieutenant Joseph P. DiBernardo Memorial Foundation

the Lieutenant Joseph P. DiBernardo Memorial Foundation

Barbara and Joe DiBernardo with Mary on November 19, 2024.

Barbara and Joe DiBernardo with Mary on November 19, 2024.

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